I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Rumble strips road head = magical
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
