I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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