I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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