Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
