I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
