Is it because I queefed?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
