Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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