Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
