like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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