it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize