What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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