anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
