At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dear god my vagina.
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