I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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