He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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