She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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