remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We have started to decorate penises.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
