is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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