Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
