Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
