two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
