You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
