I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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