I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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