I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
and she was petting her beer can
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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