I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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