Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My balls are so social today.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
