When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The dick lei will go down in squad history
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
