I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
