I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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