you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm too high and old for this...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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