She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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