I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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