and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
