So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
