Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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