At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
