is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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