I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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