so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
