Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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