Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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