I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
