hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
