You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
