thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
