I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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