Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
