When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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