Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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