im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
