I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
