Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
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Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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