I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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