ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
