It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
